“How to stop second-guessing myself?” I have been asking myself this for the longest of times. I have been someone who knows exactly why I do what I do. As I grew up, little things became more important and things suddenly started to slide.
I began to doubt all my decisions, I would second guess myself a lot and trust me I didn’t even realize it until my husband pointed it out. My overthinking and pressure to take on so many responsibilities made me feel weighed down. So my overthinking was making me second guess myself a lot.
And that’s why I decided to write about it because I think many of you struggle with second guessing yourself too. Before we jump on to the solution let’s understand the problem first.
We are ready to start?
What is Second Guessing and How Does It Work?
Doubting your decisions is called second guessing. What’s not healthy about second guessing is that you start to obsess over the same non-productive thought. It is easy to second-guess the decisions you make.
You decide to pitch an innovative idea, outside the box, in a meeting. Now the ‘What ifs’ start bothering you, what if you make a fool out of yourself, what if the idea is crap, what if you don’t present it well, you should have let someone better present it, etc.
You should now second think about yourself. You’re essentially ruminating on a negative thought that only makes you feel more anxious and stressed.
Second guessing may be caused by overthinking, according to my own experience. Second guessing, however, can be caused by stress and anxiety, as I found out from my online research.
Irrespective of what’s causing second-guessing, getting rid of this behavior is very, very important. That’s why we are going to look at ways you can stop second guessing yourself.
How does Second Guessing look?
Psychology of Second-Guessing Youself
We often think that every problem has a right answer. It’s called black or white thinking. We make decisions when we are sure it’s right and then we go ahead with our lives.
They are second-guessers when they make a decision. After making it, they can think of 10 possible decisions and continue to wonder whether they were right or wrong. It’s like they find a flaw in every decision they make.
This type of thinking can result from many things, such as anxiety, fear, or lack of confidence. Jennifer Guttman, psychologist & author, one said, “Second-guessing can demonstrate a fear of commitment to an outcome. It’s a form of not owning a decision.”
What Can You Do To Avoid Second-Guessing?
You can quit second-guessing yourself by just three steps, believe me. This is an ongoing conscious three-step process. First, accept that you are not capable of doing any thing. Second, recognize the fact that you may be second-guessing yourself. This behavior is unacceptable and must be stopped.
Let’s look at the 3 step process of stop Second-guessing yourself;
Step 1. Interrupt
One of the most common causes of self-doubt is overthinking. You must stop overthinking, worrying, or engaging in self-talk that is negative. Overthinking is like an automatic process so you don’t do it consciously.
Once you recognize rumination or negative self-talks, it is time to stop and interrupt your thoughts. You will be able to take control of your thoughts. Trust yourself and do not think about what’s already done.
Step 2: Accept
Second-guessing can be very destructive because you don’t want to own your actions. You are not ready to accept the outcome of your decision and that’s what makes second guessing yourself so torturous.
It is important to remember that not all things are within your control. Secondly, take responsibility for your actions irrespective of what it can result into. Third, forget about your past mistakes and learn from them.
Step 3. Redirect
This is the final and most important step in overcoming second-guessing. Once you have interrupted your thoughts, accepted the outcome and reality, it’s time to direct your thoughts in the correct direction.
You can find productive solutions to the problems you face. believe in yourself, be open-minded and ask yourself open-ended questions like, “how can i make the most of this? What would be your ideal response in such a situation? How can I do the best?
That’s All Folks!
This blog was helpful to you, I hope. These steps will help you stop second-guessing yourself at work. Second-guessing can be caused by anxiety, overthinking and workplace stress.
Thank you for reading!
Be safe and take care.